quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
