Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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