What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
