I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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