Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
