That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
