I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
