Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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