I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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