The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
