So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
