her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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