Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
