No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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