I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hippo gnu deer
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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