i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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