bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
