idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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