help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
