If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize