There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
