So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
