Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
