he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize