I puked a lego.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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