Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
