Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
