I looked at my own cervix.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
