I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
