You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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