the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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