I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
