When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
