this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
