I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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