I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just google imaged poop.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
