Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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