she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
