I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
