One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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