do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
