I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
