Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
