i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize