Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
