walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
