I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize