Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize