I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
