this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
