i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
