is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
