One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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