I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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