Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
