I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
